A while back, Oprah had a good portion of her show dedicated to Spanx. No, nothing kinky, Oprah doesn't do that (anymore). Spanx are a women's hosiery super-product dedicated to those of us trying to fake it 'til we make it. In other words, it supposedly squishes in your blub, hides various bumps and bulges, and smooths everything out. Basically a girdle. Although there are several different styles.Knowing it was just another girdle would have given me reasonable expectations. But no. On her show Oprah went on endlessly about Spanx as if they miraculously give you the figure of Elle McPherson in minutes. Seeing as the Sugar Plump Fairy is somehow rarely confused for Elle McPherson, I figured it was my duty to try out the "Power Panty" product and report back.
Problem 1: I may have picked a size more in line with my goal weight than my actual current weight. This may have played a minor part in the product not completely sliding over my hips and subsequently nullified the validity of my consumer report.
Problem 2: What did slide over my hips felt like a tourniquet (see Problem 1).
Problem 3: As I stood naked in my master bathroom with $25 of non-returnable beige spandex cutting off circulation to my legs, absolutely nobody would have confused me for Elle McPherson.
Problem 4: I guess I'm going to have to up my efforts with the elliptical machine.
Watch out Elle!
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